It seems as if everyone has advice for dealing with stress this holiday season. Enjoy activities that are free, such as driving around to look at Christmas decorations, says the National Mental Health Association. (Have they checked out gas prices recently?)

Learn to say no so you won't feel resentful and overwhelmed, says the Mayo Clinic.

The folks at PopCap Games suggest playing a puzzle computer game. Use a nonstick, removable oven liner to make party cleanup easier, recommends Bed Bath & Beyond. Of course, both of these companies want to sell you their stress-relievers, and doing more shopping kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

And how about this gem from the folks at Four Weeks magazine: "There's a surprising new way to combat the stress of holiday shopping ­ do it in sync with your hormone cycle!" (Ladies, during week one you can save money by avoiding bath products and other impulse buys. Your rising testosterone levels make you more likely to splurge on small items not on your shopping list.)

Just the sheer amount of advice being thrown about this time of year on how not to get stressed out illustrates how stressful the holidays have become. It's enough to give Santa Claus a migraine.

Psychologists have a "life stressor" scale they use to measure how certain life events affect individuals' stress levels and health. Christmas used to be at the bottom of the top 25 life stressors, says Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, a research associate professor of psychology at the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire. Now it's up around No. 7 or 8.

"That's not a good sign," she said.

Kendall-Tackett said the transformation of Christmas from a holiday we eagerly anticipate to something we dread is due to a combination of factors, such as high expectations and lack of time.

"There's this huge build-up for it," she said. "Some of these stores are starting to put Christmas decorations out in August. It's just ridiculous. And then the idea that folks are going to have to have day after day of unending fun. It doesn't usually tend to work out that way."

RETAILERS PILE IT ON

Just consider those groovy, well-dressed people on the Target commercials that start airing well before Thanksgiving. They dance to vintage Christmas tunes, throw cool parties, and ­ oh, yes ­ buy each other lots of presents. Or ponder the jewelry commercials where the loving husband suddenly pulls a ring box out of nowhere, sending his startled wife into Christmas Eve ecstasy.

Whose life is like that, really?

"I think one really stressful thing that marketers do that consumers need to be aware of is they really do try to equate 'Do you love her, do you care about your parents' with dollars spent, when, in our opinion, that's not the best equation," said Brad Stroh, co-founder and CEO of Bills.com.

Even people who are financially disciplined go way off their budgets this time of year. They consider gift giving guilt-free spending since they're buying things for people they care about.

Money is one of the holiday season's biggest stressors, and it shows up again after New Year's Day in the form of a holiday hangover ­ credit card bills in our mailboxes. Consumers will spend an estimated $850 each this year on Christmas gifts in a fit of "frothy, frenzied consumerism," Stroh said.

"The scary thing about that for us is that for the past year, we've had a net negative savings rate, meaning we as a society are going into debt," Stroh said.

Stroh's not trying to be a Scrooge. Have fun buying gifts, he says, just try to inject your holiday shopping with a little common sense and caution.

Figure out how much you want to spend in total, Stroh advised. Divide it up among all the people you want to buy gifts for, then put the cash in an envelope before you go to the mall. Limit yourself to spending that money, and don't pull out the credit cards at all. When you're limited to a fixed dollar amount, he said, it forces you to be more clever and creative in your gift choices, and you'll hunt harder for great bargains.

And remember, Stroh said: In today's society, time is often more valuable than money. So if you have a lot of credit card debt, consider being honest with your loved ones about it and offer them an alternative to a traditional gift. Cook them a meal. Go for a long walk with them, or write them a note telling them how much you appreciate them.

"When I get that as a holiday present, it's so much more meaningful to me than something I open and stick on a shelf," Stroh said.

If time is your currency, and you feel like you don't have enough of it during the holidays, be honest with yourself and your family about what you really want to do, says Kendall-Tackett. Make a list of all the things you normally do together as a family, then have a frank discussion about how realistic - or fun - that list really is.

Participating in lots of holiday activities is not wrong, she said. The problem is the expectation that we all have to do everything.

"Mothers, especially, tend to put so much pressure on themselves to do everything, that they have to make everything perfect," Kendall-Tackett said. "Honestly, in most cases the families would probably rather not have them be so stressed out."

Try modifying some holiday "must-do's." When Kendall-Tackett found herself dreading the annual task of sending out Christmas cards, she started sending them after New Year's.

"I had a number of people say it was nice because it didn't get buried in all the Christmas cards," she said.

TAKE AN HOUR A DAY

Experts also offer this crucial piece of advice for chilling out during the holidays: Be sure to take some time for yourself. Exercise, read a book, take a hot bath.

"I usually tell people that they need to take at least an hour to themselves every day to do what they want, or else you're going to get your body out of equilibrium, and then you are more susceptible to illnesses and everyday colds," said Peter Allen, fitness manager for the Lifeline program at the University of Southern Maine. "Also, stress causes overeating, under sleeping, things like that."

Stress increases your blood pressure and heart rate. Exercise is probably the best stress reliever, Allen said, because it helps clear the mind and kicks in the endorphins that make you feel better. Try to do a minimum of 30 minutes a day. The earlier in the day you exercise, the easier it will be to stick with it because the day hasn't yet been overloaded with other activities.

Watch your intake of alcohol, caffeine and fatty foods during the holidays, Allen advises. If you indulge in some pizza, balance it with some fruits and vegetables.

Deep breathing is an easy way to unload holiday stress. Inhale through the nose at a count of four, then exhale slowly through the mouth to a count of eight.

And try to be flexible, Allen said.

"If you're not flexible, stress is going to get a hold of you," he said. "Just kind of go with the flow. If something doesn't go exactly right, so be it, it's not going to be the end of the world. The most important thing this time of year is to enjoy the company you have and be thankful for the ones who are around you. What we tend to do is we're so stressed out we forget about that whole part."